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The wave of heat that surged through her body the minute their hands made contact was intense, electrifying, and almost scary. It scared her to know that a simple touch from the one and only Haruka Nanase could bring forth such feelings, could bring her body to life, and race her heart at speeds faster than light. A soft breath escaped her lips, one that she hadn’t even realized was being held in; as if when she let it pass the moment would vanish, left all alone again.

Rin wanted to be selfish to keep this moment frozen forever, to add to her collection; some better than others and something in her stomach turned at the realization. The one from moments ago fell into that category, and now the red head felt a wave of guilt wash over her, just like the crashing waves at her feet. 

This touch had been the only thing keeping her calm at this moment, but eyes trailing down his frame she finally took notice that he still had his backpack, and shoes on; Rin laughed. Moving her free hand to press against her lips, it was unintentional it even surprising as it emanated from her. 

"Take your shoes off, and when you’re done…catch me if you can."

Even if her hand was smaller in his her fingers curled against his hand, with a soft squeeze and a smile on her face, trying her best to let him know that it would only get better from here. Haruka deserve to know the truth, to know what caused her outburst from earlier; if she had any hopes to amend her mistake there was no other choice. 

With a new confidence in her as well as a clear mind set, Rin let her hand slip away from his; taking off into a slow pace run heading towards the water and diving in once it was deep enough to disappear in.

Her voice was light when she spoke again and though he didn’t understand the change in her he was happy to see a smile upon her face once more.

When her hand slipped from his he watched her go, rooted to the spot as he followed her steps out to sea and when she dove into the ocean he too sprung to life.

He needn’t think as he shedded his jacket, shoes and bag in order to pursue her; it was just so normal to do so and that normality was exactly what he needed right now.

Only moments later his own legs were wading through the water until it became deep enough to dive and so he did, submerging his whole body before he surfaced and sought her out.



     What a question…

     Haruka watched Rin with an intent expression, curious as to what he might actually say, his little lead on actually getting a reaction of intrigue from him, causing him to shift back just a bit to look at his boyfriend’s face, not caring at the slight pains in his side from this position, holding himself up.

     ”Now that I mention it… what?” Haru prompted with a low tone, cerulean glistening with interest as his hand drifted down Rin’s arm, fingers trailing towards his hand. He was curious as to what he might actually say… given the circumstances.

     And then he passed off the question to Haru.

     Almost petulantly, Haruka licked his lips and shook his head. “I asked you first…” He felt almost a little bad, putting him on the  spot like this, particularly when they were in a hospital, but it was a private room after all, and… he wanted to know. “I… will tell if you tell me yours.”

It was more uncomfortable under Haru’s gaze than it had ever been and as the raven drew back to observe Rin’s expression the red-head took a keen interest in the posts at the foot of the bed in order to avoid him.

"I… uh, well, there are lots of things I wanna try, I guess. It’s normal, right?" Whether he was trying to convince himself or Haru of that was unclear.

"To you know… want to know you better in that way too. To try new… things." Oh god, it was just getting worse as he went on. Why was it this hard to speak?

"Can we not talk about this now, Haru?" With all the possibilities surrounding them, even here and now, the last thing he needed was for his mind to get carried away and his body along with it.

In This Life and the Next || @pureloverin


The weak voice that came in reply was barely audible over the sound of the respirator. Rin shuddered.

He listened as the nurse spoke with her soothing, professional tone, going over the same things Rin had been told once he had first opened his eyes at dawn.

They had crashed.

Slippery road; a pitch black autumn night and rain. One of them had lost control of their car — they still didn’t know who it had been. Was it Rin? The young man failed to remember. His head felt heavy and dizzy; he could only recollect the mere split second of panic, his heart skipping a beat and then all went black. Once he had cracked his eyelids open again, the night air had been grey with smoke and his red BMW in ruins. There’d been no other vehicle in sight. I had probably fallen off the road.

Not that it mattered now.

Three broken ribs and collarbone, one fractured ankle and concussion.

Rin had gotten out easy. The situation with the other driver, though, did not seem as lucky. The nurse’s speech seemed to soften with each word as she explained the other patient his condition.

Rin didn’t want to hear. He felt disgusting. The pain crawled back to his limbs; perhaps standing hadn’t been too wise. He shuffled further onto his bed, the coarse hospital sheets rusting underneath him, feeling uncomfortable against his bare skin.

Ah. He was still wearing the damn hospital gown. Couldn’t they at least give him some proper clothes? He wasn’t going to stay there for long, that was for sure. As always, he would heal quickly. There was no need for all this hassle.


     ”Eh… excuse me,” he cleared his dry throat and addressed another nurse that rolled her trolley by the side of Rin’s bed, adjusting wires and other things the man had yanked off as he’d stood.

His voice sounded raspy, unfamiliar to his own ears. “Could I get my… clothes…?”

The woman clad in white gave him a firm look. Apparently not.

     ”Matsuoka-san,” she raised her tone, “Your injuries require time to heal. Rest is obligatory, regardless of your inherent condition.”

That’s right. His condition. He sunk back into the mattress with a frustrated sigh, cheek sinking into the pillow as he turned to gaze into the direction of the other bunk.

A crash. One he could barely recall. That was why he was here, or so he was led to believe. He had no choice but to believe what the nurse began to explain to him for his memory offered nothing of the events which led up to waking up in a hospital bed.

Though she described his injuries to him he didn’t hold onto the details and latched on to the mention of broken ribs and a punctured lung only because this best explained the funny sensation in his chest and the persistent hum of the respirator.

Only then did the monotonous beeping of the machine seep into his eardrums and now that he focused on it it was impossible to ignore. It had to have been there the whole time yet it was so constant that it had seemed to naturally blend into the air until attention was drawn to it.

The rest might as well have been nonsense for what he retained of it meant nothing to him. Following her words put too much strain on his already aching head and the words themselves seemed to blend together and make little sense to him even though he was sure she was speaking slowly and clearly.

"I’m afraid it’s quite a large wound that will not heal by itself. We’ve been waiting for you to come to in order to gauge how well you’ll cope with surgery."


So there was more to come. Yet rather than feel panic, like he was sure he would have, he felt nothing but a strange, calm indifference. It didn’t feel real. Perhaps it really had been a good choice to break the news to him as soon as he woke rather than allowing him to gain his senses first. How would he feel later, when the reality hit him?

"Nothing will happen today, don’t worry. The doctor wants to see how you’re getting on first so we’re going to allow you some time to adjust and we’ll discuss the details with you later. Could you try and stay awake until then? It would be good for you to try and eat something in the meantime."

None of it really mattered to Haruka and even as the nurse departed, cracking open his curtain enough to let in some light and grant him a view of the ward as opposed to just his small section of it, he didn’t protest. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and hope that he would somehow wake up in his own bed instead.



"Do you wanna sing American songs with us?"

"Why would I do that?"

#y u guys

Jean, Vicky and Sakura have literally taken over my instagram notifications

when ur muse is just so in love with another muse that it’s ridiculous




I took the time to sign out of my main blog to come over to this thing and send you that ask! It better count! BL XD

I can no longer see that as a face and instead as Boys Love

If I get ten “accents” I’ll record myself saying all this!